From a young age, I had an innate feeling that my role in this life was to be
a healer, though I wasn’t sure what form it would take.
At the age of seventeen, I was diagnosed with idiopathic intracranial hypertension, a
neurological condition that mirrors symptoms of a brain tumor without an actual tumor
being present.
This condition left me grappling with constant and intense all day headaches, nausea,
and even a temporary episode of blindness. It felt like there was continuous pressure in
my head, as if it were being squeezed like a toy.
Idiopathic means “of unknown origin” which essentially meant that my doctors were at a
loss in understanding the root cause of my condition and didn’t know what to do with
me.
This was deeply unsettling and shook me to my core as I had grown up believing that
Western medicine had all the answers for health and healing. I also assumed that all
doctors treated patients, especially terrified teenagers facing life-altering challenges,
with empathy and compassion, but I discovered that this was not always true.
This newfound awareness highlighting the shortcomings in our healthcare system
intensified my sense of isolation, and with each passing day, my hope for a pain-free
future continued to diminish.
After a year of exhausting various forms of Western medicine treatments, I
eventually found tremendous help for my health in alternative forms of
medicine like Chinese medicine and Naturopathic medicine.
Working with a Naturopathic doctor (ND) was a transformative experience for me. Their
approach made me feel truly heard and understood for the first time. After my first visit, I
left with a profound sense of self-awareness that I had not gained in the entire year
prior.
I came to realize that the belief that my condition was fixed and unchangeable simply
wasn’t true.
Our bodies are adaptable, intelligent, and capable of healing when we provide them
with the right tools.
I began to understand that if I had faith in my body’s ability to heal and the courage to
stick with the process through the ups and downs I would really start to heal on a deep
level.
One of the most impactful lessons I encountered in my healing journey was
the necessity to confront, embrace, and befriend my pain.
When pain transitions into a chronic state, it has the capacity to dominate our thoughts,
deplete our vitality, and, if we grant it the authority, become the central focus of our lives.
My pain felt like an all-encompassing darkness that drained me to the point of utter
exhaustion.
It was a relentless monster, perpetually screaming in my face. But instead of listening to
it, I turned away from it.
In the beginning, I could easily mask the pain by using potent pain medications, which
didn’t alleviate the pain but provided a temporary distraction.
The pain medications started causing additional issues in my body and I had to stop
their use, but I continued to emotionally withdraw.
After several months of continuous pain I finally had to acknowledge that I
had arrived at a point of profound despair, where I questioned my desire to
continue living.
I had hit rock bottom, and this experience compelled me to deeply introspect about my
life and the path I wanted to take.
I knew there was so much I still wanted to explore in this life – meeting new people,
savoring new experiences, wholeheartedly pursuing my passions, and sharing my love
with the world.
Over time and with the guidance of my ND, I started to understand that instead of
battling my pain or disassociating from it, I needed to stay present and get curious.
Why was it there? What was it trying to tell me?
I learned that avoidance only amplifies our body’s desperation to get our attention and
creates more suffering.
I began to acknowledge the presence of my pain and offer it love and understanding.
This mental shift played a crucial role in reducing and mitigating its impact on my life.
I surprised myself by openly expressing my feelings to both myself and others, which I
had struggled to do before. I started seeking support from those around me and broke
my cycle of inner isolation that had been holding my healing hostage.
I dedicated time to self-discovery, understanding my body, and providing the love and
nourishment that I lacked.
The old adage “the only way out is through” now made sense on a visceral level for me.
As I worked through these layers of growth and release, I realized that
experiencing less pain was not only possible but within my grasp.
Pain remains a part of my life today, but I’ve come to understand that it doesn’t define
me. What transformed for me was my perception of pain and the control I allowed it to
have over me.
I realized I am more than my pain; finding new coping tools reassured me that life
extends beyond it, and I am determined to embrace the life I’ve been given.
Since then, I have been committed to continuously working on myself, working with my
own pain and suffering instead of ignoring it and becoming my own healer.
After this experience I knew I wanted to help others walk the same path.
The principles and practices of Naturopathic and Chinese medicine deeply resonated
with me as a patient, resulting in profound changes in my healing journey.
My own experience with them is what inspired me to pursue degrees in Naturopathic
medicine and Chinese medicine and become the practitioner I am today.
